Some dry humor for your Saturday…
- The first time I got a universal remote control I thought to myself, “This changes everything”.
- I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home all the signs were there.
- I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.
- Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
- As I watched the dog chasing his tail I thought “Dogs are easily amused”, then I realized I was watching the dog chasing his tail.
- Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
- Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.
- To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet – you can hide, but you can’t run.
- Velcro – what a rip-off!
- My friend keeps trying to convince me that he’s a compulsive liar but I don’t believe him.
- I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.
- My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.
- I like to hold hands at the movies… which always seems to startle strangers.