Saturday Time-Out

Some dry humor for your Saturday…

  1. The first time I got a universal remote control I thought to myself, “This changes everything”.
  2. I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home all the signs were there.
  3. I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner as all it was doing was gathering dust.
  4. Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
  5. As I watched the dog chasing his tail I thought “Dogs are easily amused”, then I realized I was watching the dog chasing his tail.
  6. Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
  7. Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.
  8. To the man on crutches, dressed in camouflage, who stole my wallet – you can hide, but you can’t run.
  9. Velcro – what a rip-off!
  10. My friend keeps trying to convince me that he’s a compulsive liar but I don’t believe him.
  11. I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.
  12. My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.
  13. I like to hold hands at the movies… which always seems to startle strangers.

 

Advertisements

7 Comments

Comments Always Welcome and Appreciated!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s