First Day of the Year 2017

Just in case you have been away, the new year is now upon us…

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These were my New Year’s Resolutions from 2015. I used them again for 2016 and thought I would recap the results.

  1. I will promise myself not to eat the meat of any Sasquatch or Yeti. I would guess they probably taste just like chicken anyway.
  2. –No problem with this one, although I did eat at McDonalds a couple of times and who knows what was on those sandwiches.

  3. I will promise myself to lose 0 pounds this year. I had to change this number to 0 for medical reasons. Had my weight loss resolutions from earlier years all been consummated, I would have lost a total of 1,425 pounds. My doctor advised that that kind of weight loss would have been unhealthy for me in the long run.
  4. –Success here; this will be on the list again for 2017.

  5. I will promise myself to remember my wife is always right no matter what. My wife thought it would be a good idea for me to add this one no matter what.
  6. –My wife thought it would be a good idea for me to add this one to the list again no matter what.

  7. I will promise myself not to squander any multimillion dollar sweepstakes winnings in 2015 on a bawdy car, an extravagant yacht or the like. I humbly await the sweepstakes’ team to knock on my door.
  8. –No knocks on the door yet.

  9. I will promise myself not to accept the nomination for President of the United States. And if I am elected, I will not serve. (This resolution will carry over to 2016 as well.)
  10. –I would have had the nomination had it not been for those pesky Russians.

  11. I will promise myself not to embarrass my daughters by using my flip phone in public. This might stand as the most difficult resolution of all – sometimes I just cannot restrain myself.
  12. –I could not restrain myself.

Maybe this year will be better…

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